“Alright guys,” the nefarious Dr. Red states to his legion of oversized monstrosities. They crowd over him like towering monoliths, casting him in dark shadows. “I understand this whole
taking over the world thing is still in it's infancy, so I can't very well blame you all for it not coming to fruition right away...”
“Yeah, boss,” SMF interrupts. “We !@#$'ing try, ya' know? Some of those overgrown Furbies out there either gang on us or just !@#$'ing cheat out-loud!”
SMF Pterodactyl looks over to his baddy brother, The Ra-Man, looking for some positive reinforcement, but the giant noodle creature just stares back, blankly, and drools from the corner of his mouth.
“What Ra-Man means to say,” the new-comer, Chocolate Moose, explains. “Is that we haven't been given the right opportunity. This is there city after all, and that puts us at a natural disadvantage. If we go into the forest areas, we are stepping into a world that Udyr and Ekhornkin know like the back of their hands. And if we try to fight them in the city, Mebbles and Fred, the dragons, lurk around just looking for us to make a novice mistake.”
“Abso-!#$@'ing-lutely!” SMF interjects. “Not to mention the biggest pest of them all: !#@$'ing Brian Thorn and his clunky pile of scrap!”
“Maybe you monstrous juggernauts are right,” Dr. Red contemplates. “Maybe all we need is to stack the deck in our favor. A win is a win, after all. Once we remove the morale and desire to fight from these lummoxes, we can really rip this city from under their feet! Hmm, we need a plan.”
“What'cha thinking of boss?” Moose asks.
“I was hoping I could save it for a better time, but there is no use saving something this powerful,” the evil genius explains. “On top of Tokyo Tower is a device. It appears to look like a halo or a headband or a crown, but it's something far more valuable than just a flashy piece of bling. You see, it's a beacon from my satellite, in orbit around Earth. I have learned that understanding worm-holes I can bring monsters to Earth. Using that same technology, that beacon can harness the power of inter-stellar flares from galaxies away.”
“Durrrr,” Ra-Man slurrs. “Wot fur?”
SMF and Chocolate turn and glare at, the now vocalizing, Ra-Man.
“In essence,” the genius doctor patiently explains. “It will make you stronger, powered-up, nuclear - whatever you kids wanna' call it!”
The clan of baddies ooh and aah at the possibility.
“So, that's the plan,” Red commands. “I want you all to go to Tokyo Tower now and retrieve that. The Wombat of Doom is around that area, spying on those nuisances. Get him on board with this plan and take home the prize!”
“Will do, boss,” the chocolate monster responds.
“!@#$ yeah! Easy as pie!” Pterodactyl shouts.
“Don't disappoint me, boys,” the doctor warns. “I don't care how many of you it takes, I only need one of you to bring it back here. The rest of you can just hold off any buggers too curious to keep to their own business!”
“Yes sir!”
“Over and !@#$'ing out!”
2 and 5/8 hours later...
“Hey, boss,” Chocolate Moose radios back to headquarters. “We got Wombat on the team, that was easy, but we have a slight problem...”
“What's the difficulty, boys?”
“Well, you see, it seems like its just a ticking time bomb ready to go off...”
“What the hell do you mean?”
“That beacon you want? Well its being used as a halo for the tree's angel,” Moose tries to clarify. “Yeah, you won't believe me unless you saw this, but some of these moronic monsters are finishing up with their Thanksgiving celebrations and decorating the tower like a giant Christmas tree. We can go in with a giant assault, if that's what you wish, but if there is any monster roaming around, they are instantly going to be drawn into the fight. It's a risky move.”
“I don't pay you for your strategic analysis, Moose!” Dr. Red shouts over the communication system. “Just get in there and do what I asked you in the first place!”
Moose looks over team comprised of The Wombat of Doom, The Ra-Man, and SMF Pterodactyl, and nods the signal. “Let's go fight!”
The clan of four baddies soar and charge in, taking the festive flock by surprise. SMF flies in and takes the end of a lanyard strand, wraps the glittery rope around the druid Udyr, and launches him into the ocean. Mantaur, who was hanging on a branch putting on ornaments, gets a running gore to his side by the charging chocolate beast. Ekhornkin, who was gifting over-sized acorns and chestnuts inside brightly-colored boxes, quickly gets overrun by the trampling duo of Ra-Man and The Wombat of Doom.
“Hahahaha!” cackles the destructive doc'. “What a bunch of air-headed buffoons! They would rather jingle their bells than use the power of the stars! Foolish! Just foolish!”
“Alright, the beacon is ours,” Chocolate Moose states, pointing up the tower.
“The
what is yours?” the robotic guardian, Brian Thorn, heroically asks, walking into the block.
“Dur beacon,” Ra-Man spits. “It's...”
“Don't tell him!!!” shrieks Dr. Red, holding his head.
“It's notda' halo,” the soupy-brained monster continues, possibility too brainless to follow orders. “It's a powerful, ugh.... something....”
“That's !@#$'ing enough from you, Insta-Botch,” SMF interrupts, pushing his aluminum ally to the side. “It's nothing you need to !@#$'ing concern yourself with, Thorn, you !@#$. Stay outta' our !@#$'ing business for a change!”
“I would, but, since you guys have been mucking about in this city,” Thorn answers. “You've never been up to any good.”
“Hur, hur,” Ra-Man laughs. “It's like he can read our minds...”
“Oh, son of a !@#$”
“Yeah, I thought so,” Thorn says. “I don't know what reason you need that crown, but I can't let you guys run off with it now...”
Thorn goes into a frantic melee against the evil quartet of Dr. Red. He leaps into the air, landing a skull-shattering elbow drop to SMF, and lands to a leg sweep that flips The Wombat of Doom.
“I am just getting started, fellas',” Thorn boasts, mid-strike. “So don't hold back!”
Chocolate Moose and Ra-Man bolt in and seem to equalize the fight, but Thorn takes it under his control. Moose tries to evade and block a flurry of martial art kicks and punches, as Ra-Man just stands there and soaks up the damage. With a roundhouse followed by a swipe of his sword, The Ra-Man falls over hard and doesn't appear to want to get back up.
“That's one less of you idiots I have to worry about now...” Brian states, readying up his battle stance.
“Damn him!” shouts Dr. Red, deep within his mysterious laboratory. “Damn him to hell!”
“You're getting !#@$'ing lucky is all,” scoffs Pterodactyl, getting back up. “You can't beat us all!”
Just as the evil-doers dive in on the guardian of Earth, a battle cry is heard raining down from the sky.
“Rangers...go!”
Past the initial energetic charge, the rest of the plummet to Earth is filled with arguing and complaining. Soon, it crashes to Earth, almost colliding with their fellow hero mech. Brian Thorn has to side step the giant metal comet, but leaves himself open for a couple attacks from Wombat of Doom and Chocolate Moose.
“The Rangers are here to save the day!” they shout, unraveling from their free-falling ball form.
“Great!” Thorn shouts back. “Now try to actually do something helpful!”
The Rangers get to work, maybe only by the sheer brain-power and intuition of Green Ranger, as they sideswipe Wombat with a quick combination of poorly executed attacks. Wombat crumbles to a knee, but then quickly eats a vicious side kick to the kisser from Thorn. Wombat is out cold.
The Rangers and Thorn seem to be working together in harmony, almost too well, fighting off the remaining members of Dr. Red's evil crew., but then suddenly Tokyo goes black.
“What is going on?” Dr. Red vents, fumingly, trying to fiddle with his monitors, who he thinks is to blame for this loss of communication.
The wide-spread melee almost stops completely, as no one can see anything past their noses.
“Thorn,” a voice in the darkness says. “It's time you become afraid...”
With those words, the lights flicker back on with Fearzilla lurking over the battle field. He hastily swoops down and drags Thorn off his feet and launches him into a building behind him.
“Oh, crap,” The Rangers cry, looking back and watching their strongest ally get tossed about like a rag-doll. Dr. Red's monsters find this a perfect opportunity to team on the Ranger Mech until they are no longer operational.
“Are you trembling in terror, yet?” taunts the ruler of torment and fear. “Are you afraid of me yet, Thorn?”
“No!” shouts back the defiant Thorn. “Not ever!”
Fearzilla cackles, grabbing Thorn by the shoulder mounts and tossing him across the street into another building.
“Why would I?” Thorn shouts, trying to block the cement blocks falling around him. “You're just a Paper Craft!”
Just then, with a little flick of his finger, the pilot ignites a flame under his wrist that spews a giant column of fire at Fearzilla. The Feared One is instantly caught ablaze and melting.
“Yeah, take that!” Thorn shouts, coming to his feet. “How you like a little fire?”
Fearzilla's papermache-like exoskeleton falls off in clumps, revealing another identical layer underneath, unphased by the inferno.
“That's not even a sun-burn, silly boy,” Fearzilla laughs, charging in and dropping some mean punches and elbows. “Face the fear, Thorn, and let it devour your soul!”
As Thorn struggles against his nemesis, Dr. Red's monsters take to the tower, but are quickly stopped in their tracks.
“You guys go no further!” Fred the blue dragon shouts. “We overheard what you guys plan on doing, and we can't allow you to do have something powerful to turn against this city!” Standing beside Fred is miniature dragon Mebbles.
“I am here too!” shouts another figure coming into the fray. “And I have something... important... to say!” Stumbling to the other side of Fred is Super Slosh, a giant drunkard freak with his giant bamboo beating stick. Everyone watches the new-comer to Tokyo speak, as if they were truly interested in the wise words of the over-sized human. “Your mom... is a whore!” Super Slosh swings wildly and starts to beat down, assumed ally, Fred for no provoked reason.
Moose and crew dive into the melee, as Slosh begins to try to ride the giant Fred like a robotic bull at a hillbilly bar. Eventually, Fred bucks him off for him to only fall into the arms of The Wombat of Doom.
“You look like that guy,” Slosh drunkenly rambles. “But he wasn't either...”
Wombat tries to shake off the foul smelling lush, but takes a vicious uppercut for the struggle.
“Tell her to... buy...” Slosh continues to mumble. “Tell her the drinks are on... Tell her to lift her shirt! Woooo!”
Slosh winds up and clobbers Wombat with a wide-swinging baseball smash with his Singapore cane. Wombat falls like a ton of bricks.
SMF Pterodactyl and Chocolate Moose appear to overwhelm Mebbles, until Super Slosh enters the battle and continues to whack away at everyone with his stick like a giant flyswatter.
“What's up with this drunk bastard?” Dr. Red shouts. “Is he completely insane?”
“You're my boy, Blue!” hollers Slosh, diving back into tight melee with Fred the dragon.
“That's it, Fearzilla!” Thorn shouts, initiating some heavy artillery. “Time for me to end this!”
The missile pods over his shoulders begin to heat up.
“What a shame it would be if they all somehow backfired,” Fearzilla calmly says, maintaining the intense pace of back-and-forth melee.
“What?” Thorn second-guessed, for a millisecond.
Suddenly, his missile pods exploded in a pair of giant blasts over his head. Shrapnel bombards the cockpit area, as a large amount of monitors go emergency red.
“What the hell are you doing to me?” Thorn shouts out of frustration, trying to work some coolant to his flaming shoulders.
“I am giving the great hero of Tokyo something to be afraid of!” he answers. “You're machine is weak and you know it!”
“You can try to destroy this mecha all you want,” Thorn replies. “But you can't break my spirit!”
“No?”
Magically, all of Thorn's external camera monitors turn into mirrors and reveal an ugly truth.
“W-W-What the hell?!?!!?” Thorn shrieks.
“Mwahahaha!” Fearzilla laughs. “That's right! A giant pimple on that pretty face! No part of your psyche is safe from my torment!”
Thorn all but crumbles at the sight of the imperfection on his face. The robot goes still.
“You're just a maniac!” Fred yells, throwing Super Slosh across the street.
Mebbles fires a pair of ice blasts, knocking back SMF Pterodactyl and Chocolate Moose.
“This place ish madness!” the little dragon yells. “And I had enough of being stepped on!”
The five monsters battle on, busting out awesome skills and special attacks. Eventually, both Fred and SMF Pterodactyl fall from the battle.
“Fumble!” Super Slosh shouts, looking at the tiny football-shaped dragon. He dives forward and tackles him to the ground. “Grand mother-!@#$'ing slam!” In celebratory fashion, he lifts Mebbles and spikes him between his legs. “Horah!”
“Okay, Chocolate Moose,” Dr. Red instructs. “Now is your chance! You're out last hope! Go get the beacon while everyone else is preoccupied!”
The brown milky monster charges to the tower and begins to make his way up.
“Yes! Yes!” the doctor energetically says. “Do it, Moose!”
“You idiot,” Thorn mutters. “If Chocolate Moose brings that thing back to Dr. Red we all lose...”
“Do you think I care about that stupid thing?” Fearzilla proclaims. “Dr. Red is a madman chasing his shadow. He is of no threat to me and my desires. My master can crush him like a bug, whenever he wants.”
“You fool!” Thorn yells back, landing a heavy punch. “If you're only goal is to take me down, you're going to have to do it quick!”
Thorn darts out of combat, igniting his rocket boots against the cold, icy, city streets. He comes to the base of the tower, with Fearzilla following him close by.
“Quick Chocolate Moose!” Dr. Red shouts. “Thorn is on to you!”
Thorn hits the first few rungs in the tower, but Fearzilla catches up to him, lands a thudding punch to the spine of the robot guardian.
“Just watch, Thorn,” Fearzilla taunts. “Watch as you fail to protect this city. Watch and wallow in your weakness!”
“Ugh, I'm starting to feel...” Super Slosh begins to say, holding his booze-filled gut. His mouth begins to glow bright toxic green, charging up a concentrated blast of nuclear vomit. “BARF!” He projects a ball of carbonated ooze, but Meebles quickly goes on the defense surrounding himself in a block of ice. The vomit attack bounces off the icy mini-dragon and splats against the base of the tower, somewhat close to Brian Thorn and Fearzilla's scrap.
“Almost... there...” Chocolate Moose mutters, climbing the last few steps.
“Son of a !@#$” Super Slosh shouts, reaching for his beat stick and cracking Mebbles out of his icy shield.
The ooze at the base of the tower begins to eat away at the foundation, making it weak and womble. Thorn notices the frail condition of the tower and forms a new plan.
“You can't break me!” Thorn shouts in deviance.
Fearzilla strikes him. Thorn looks up and notices the strikes weaken the tower every hit.
“You've got nothing!”
Fearzilla strikes again, and the tower warps a little more.
“I ain't 'fraid of no ghost!”
Fearzilla winds up and drives Thorn through the already shattered base of the tower. The tower, now standing on one leg, creaks and moans, slowly falling forward.
“No! No! No!” Chocolate Moose cries, trying to hold on. “No. No. No. Nooooo!”
The tower comes down like a house of cards, dropping the villainous Chocolate Moose like a giant bag of potatoes. He is out cold. The iron beams cover a giant landscape, like a giant metal umbrella over the battlefield where Thorn and Fearzilla once were trading leather. The impact catches the attention of Super Slosh and Mebbles nearby. They pause their fight, looking at the wreckage for a moment, until the glowing beacon bounces from the metal wreckage.
Super Slosh looks over and gazes at the beacon. He believes it to be a decorative bottle of rum, one of those aged numbers with the fancy packaging and bottle neck. He stumbles over to it, but, coming closer, he expresses the disappointment a man would wandering towards a mirage. With no more alcohol to fuel his violent partying, he begins to run out of energy and sober up. And what does a man like Slosh do when he begins to sober up? Look for more booze and get drunk!
“Woah, dude,” Not-So-Super Slosh says looking over at Mebbles. “You have quite the shiner!”
Mebbles blinks, albeit painfully. His face is indeed a little bruised and broken.
“We must have partied like crazy!” he sobering wild man continues. “I mean, look at this place!”
The pair of them look over the immense wreckage, some of which still covers Brian Thorn and Fearzilla, like bugs in a metal web.
“Well, little dude,” Slosh says, now shrinking to the same size as Mebbles. “I'm going to the store and getting more party liquor! You stay here and catch up to me, okay? I'll be back with the booze...”
Slosh stumbles away, in his ever-lasting quest to get inebriated like no one’s business.
Mebbles looks over at the beacon, moves over to it and claims to keep it under his possession, just so it's out of the hands of evil. Who knows what power it stores, he wonders. “This planet is crazy enough,” he thinks, leaving the disaster. “It doesn't need another Doomsday Weapon.”
Fast Forward Eliminations
Udyr The Animal Spirit eliminated by SMF Pterodactyl
Mantaur eliminated by Chocolate Moose
Ekhornkin eliminated by Wombat of Doom and Ra-Man
Ra-Man eliminated by Brian Thorn
The Loser Rangers eliminated by Wombat, SMF, and Chocolate Moose
Wombat of Doom eliminated by Super Slosh
SMF Pterodactyl eliminated by Mebbles and Fred
Fred eliminated by Super Slosh
Chocolate Moose eliminated by falling tower
Brian Thorn eliminated by falling tower
Fearzilla eliminated by falling tower
Super Slosh eliminated by sobriety
Mebbles becomes the first TMD King of Monsters
